Avril's Driveway

One day, waaay back at the beginning of the school year (yes, last year), R came home telling some tall tales.  The only reason these tales weren't forgotten was because I had the presence of mind to take notes.  I wish I took notes more often.  But this particular fall day, her words were so earnest and her eyes were so wide that I knew it was one of those moments that had the potential to become family lore.  So I felt compelled to record her breathless words.

"Mommy, zombies are real!  The live under Avril's driveway.  She dug a hole and heard an ooh! sound.  And sometimes when I wake up, my unicorn isn't on my bed where I put it.  It fell down and then it's gone.  That means the zombies took it."

At this point, I think I tried to reassure her that zombies were not real. 

She responded, "Owen says ghosts and zombies are real.  HE'S SEVEN!!"

Ok, so he knows about these things apparently.

R turned to B, "If a ghost or zombie gets you, they put you in a hole in the lava and you die!"

She could see that B was scared by this news and gave her a big hug and said, "Don't worry, the ghosts and zombies don't live here.  They live under Avril's driveway."

Then she turned to me and exclaimed, "Coal drinks lava!  If you don't believe in zombies and ghosts, they come and put blood on your house."

Again, I tried my utmost to convince her that zombies are not real.  We skipped over the reality of lava since it was making B nervous.

R replied, "YES!  THEY!  ARE!!"  And she performed a little hop to emphasize each word.

J punched her in an attempt to convince her that zombies weren't real.  I'm not sure why that didn't work.

And sadly, that is where my notes end.  But I do remember many days when R got off the bus full of such tales of Avril's driveway.  It seems that it houses not only ghosts and zombies, but werewolves, lava and other frightful things.  It took months for R to believe that Avril wasn't telling the truth.  Although, what is truth to a kindergartener?

It reminds me of the time R tried to tell me that her preschool had class in the ocean.  When I teasingly asked her if she was telling the truth, she responded, "I'm not telling the truth.  I'm telling YOU!"

So maybe, just maybe, I can believe that Avril wasn't saying these things just to scare my wide-eyed little girl.  Maybe she was just embellishing something that she heard once upon a time.

Either way, Avril's driveway is totally and completely OFF LIMITS!