Firestarters

Shaggy taught the kids how to start a fire.  And they like it.  A little too much.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about their newly acquired skill.  Especially considering how much Shaggy enjoyed starting fires as a kid.  I'm fervently wishing he was still a fireman.

Don't Laugh

Shaggy loves to laugh.  It's no secret.  Anyone who knows him, knows this.  He enjoys humor wherever he finds it.

Sadly, because of his hernia surgery, laughter has been causing him a great deal of pain.

I almost had to take the book Catching Fire away from him because it was making him laugh.  Yeah, a book where people are forced to battle to the death in an arena to provide televised entertainment.  Sure there were funny parts, but I don't recall finding it quite as funny as he did.

All comedies have been out of the rotation.  So we watched Stomp, a British dance performance reminiscent of Blue Man Group.  Which was, unfortunately, quite funny.  And very cool.

I have been making a concerted effort to NOT crack as many jokes, or point out the hilarious things I notice the kids doing.  Some of these things he notices on his own.  Which, of course, makes him laugh and then moan in pain.

But his biggest cause of laughter, and therefore pain, is HIMSELF.  Yep, he cracks himself up.  He makes the jokes that he finds the funniest of all.  He hasn't really changed all that much from a thirteen-year-old boy who has discovered that he is good at generating humor.

He suggested that I use the title "Knives and Knuts" if I was going to write a blog post about his surgery.  Which made him laugh and groan and stomp and almost cry from the pain.  I pointed out that the surgery didn't have anything to do with "knuts."  Close enough, he said.  And proceeded to laugh and groan some more.

Like I said, he hasn't really changed all that much from a thirteen-year-old boy.

Crossing the River

You know that riddle about a man who has a fox, a rabbit, and a cabbage?  He has to get them all across the river safely in his boat which only holds two things.  But the tricky part is that the fox will eat the rabbit and the rabbit will eat the cabbage if left alone together.

I've been stuck in a puzzle like that for the last week.  It's been interesting, to say the least.  Shaggy had a big old hernia.  Which he ignored for many months.  But finally it was painful enough that he consented to surgery.  Open surgery.  Not the nice little laproscopic version with the quicker recovery time.  So he's been convalescing and trying to recover.  Which, unfortunately, is terribly hard to do at our house.

The good news is that we all survived relatively unscathed.  Well, except for Shaggy who will have a wicked scar across his abdomen.  But maybe that's not a bad thing, because as he says, "Chicks dig scars."

Here's my version of the puzzle.  A mom has three girls, a little boy, a baby, an invalid husband, a dog, six lizards, and a box of crickets.  The crickets must be fed to the lizards at regular intervals without being left out for the dog . . . or the baby (ewwww!) to eat.  The crickets cannot be left alone with the little boy or they WILL end up all over the house for the dog and the baby to eat.  Girl #1 wouldn't touch the cricket container if her life depended on it.  Girl #2 is a pro at handling both crickets and lizards.  The littlest girl won't bother the crickets if they don't bother her.

The dog can't be left alone with the baby or the littlest girl.  He licks the baby's face too much and will steal the littlest girl's snacks.  He also cannot be left alone in the kitchen when there is butter, or even empty butter boxes that have been left out.  Or anything that contains butter.  He has taken quite a fancy to butter, in all its forms.

Girl #1 must be retrieved from swim practice four days a week.  And taken to, and picked up from, music rehearsal.  Girl #2 must be retrieved from lego robotics at the same time as girl #1 gets out of swimming.  The little boy can walk home from school with girl #2 except when she goes to lego robotics, in which case mom has to get him.  The little boy and littlest girl cannot be taken much of anywhere together because they end up fighting too much.  The baby cannot be left alone with the invalid husband because he is unable to lift, or even hold her.  The baby cannot be left alone for long with the little boy as his love is sometimes rough and unpredictable.  Both girl #1 and girl #2 are trustworthy caretakers of the baby.

Provided that the invalid husband is awake and not knocked out from his pain meds, he is able to be left in charge of the little boy and littlest girl.  As long as they don't fight.  Or need help with anything.  Or talk too much.

Meals, snacks, clean clothes, time, love, and attention must be given to the children, baby, and the invalid husband in order to avoid meltdowns, tantrums, bad grades and bad attitudes.

For an extra challenge, the baby gets sick and can't sleep for more than an hour at time because she can't breathe, and she can't tolerate floorplay for more than twenty minutes for the same reason.

All homework, clarinet, flute, computer, reading, bath, and bedtime routines must remain the same as they were prior to the husband becoming an invalid.  Or as close as possible.

So how would you solve this puzzle?

And no, pulling your hair out and walking away is NOT a valid option.  Believe me.  I tried.

Peas and Porridge

Baby B is loving the solids.  Her Mama is loving the prospect that B may someday be weaned from nursing.  May even be able to feed herself one day.

But until that day comes, the high chair will certainly remain a sticky, gooey mess.  And the washing machine will totally earn its keep.

Metal Mouth

The time has come.  My first baby is no longer a baby.  Not even much of a kid, really.  She got braces last week.  Which in my mind, puts her squarely in the pre-teen category.  Someday I might actually stop calling her "baby."  Then again, maybe not.

I can hardly believe how much her life has changed in the last 2 months.  She has been iniated into the church youth program by filling up our family calendar with 2-3 activities each week.  She's participating in a musical where she has to go to many a singing practice, and she has to make her own costume.  She's gone to the temple for the first time.  And sledding (not for the first time!).  She's raised 100 bucks towards girls camp.  She's agreed to fulfill a leadership position for her age group.


She does all the chores we ask her to--and makes loads of allowance.  She's maintaining her 4.0 GPA.  And keeping up with her clarinet practice.  And managing to find time to read scriptures and make us stick to our family novel reading.  She plays scribblenauts and is working on solving the latest Nancy Drew mystery.  She even fits in time to see some friends once in a while.


I keep thinking this girl will feel nervous, or overwhelmed by all these changes.  By all the new activities that she needs to fit into her already fairly full schedule.  But she doesn't.  She just maintains her forward momentum without missing a single beat.


She hardly complained about her teeth being sore when her braces were put on.  She had an expander put in today, so there will be room for all her permanent teeth.  Even that, which makes me cringe every time I think of it, a big metal device separating her palate so new bone can grow in--even that doesn't phase her.


In fact, she is so unperturbed by all that life is tossing her way, she decided to join the swim team.  Camp started the day after she got her braces.  So much for taking it easy.


And nevermind about her poor mother.  Or her baby sister's nap schedule.  All that's missing now, is a taxi sign for our big, green van.