Mother's Day

This day was made for me.  Because I am a PERFECT mother.

Except that I sometimes yell at my children.

And I don't always make them eat their vegetables.

Not being able to carve out any time for myself sometimes makes me grumpy.

And sometimes, I force my children to go outdoors just so I won't have to hear them.

There are days that I let my baby eat underwear.  She is drawn to them.  I don't know why.  She will zero in on them even when amidst a mountain of clean laundry on the floor.

Yes, I sometimes toss my clean laundry on the floor before putting it away.

I never really LIKE to help them with homework. Except reading. When they're old enough to read something interesting.

Every once in a while, I pretend not to notice a misbehavior just so
I don't have to discipline it.

I often mumble answers without really hearing what my kids are talking about.

I sometimes attest that I surely did NOT smell that poopy diaper before handing
the baby over to her Daddy.

I am relieved when a sports season ends or when a lesson is cancelled so we can
just stay home.

I fantasize about the day when my husband and I can again go on vacation without the children. Or out to dinner. Or to the grocery store.

I feel a certain guilty pleasure when we have scheduling conflicts that prevent us from going to school functions like open houses and carnivals.

Every once in a while, I buy myself a candy bar and eat the whole thing in the closet. Just so I don't have to hear, "Can I have some?" Or R's version, which is even harder to deny. "It's ok, you will be nice to share with me!"

My tiny, little flaws notwithstanding, I am a perfect mother. That's my story,
and I'm sticking to it.

And just as surely as I am a perfect mother, we were able to capture
the perfect Mother's Day photo this year.

Except for the psycho looking little boy by my left shoulder.  And the baby who looks extremely suspicious . . . of something.  And the little miss someone who was

showing off her panties and blowing a dandelion.

 

 Who wanted to be doing absolutely anything besides be in a nice photo with her Mama.  So she ran off to do it.  Leaving the psycho looking little boy to hide behind his sister and be reprimanded by a grumpy-looking lady.  Who is that, anyway?

Again, the perfect photo.  Except for the underwear.  And the fact that little miss someone still didn't want to be there and had to be held against her will.  And the baby who was searching for bugs in her brother's hair.

 So very close.  If it weren't for the screaming thing.  I could try to pass it off as a happy face, I suppose.

Except that she then started biting her captor. 

And that's when chaos broke loose.  But please note that I am STILL smiling. 
That's what perfect mothers do.

At least most of us were having fun.

Even while trying to convince little miss someone to JUST SIT RIGHT HERE

FOR ONE MINUTE!

Suprisingly, S's very best stern face did absolutely nothing to get R to come be in the picture.

She marches to a different tune, apparently.

Here we go, picture perfect.  Oh, except little miss someone started spitting.

Which simultaneously delighted baby B and offended J.

Who turned into a turtle.  But who did NOT show his underwear.

So close.  So close.  Oh well, there's always photoshop.

I sure love these little beasties of mine.